2018 Summer Lyric Contest Winners

WINNERS

1. Come Rain Come Shine by Martin Robley,  Ballajura Western Australia

2. Till We All Drove It by TY Nelson, Billings, MT

3. Fireworks Don’t Last Very Long, Bill Kapac, West Wildwood, NJ

HM A Seat At The Table by Ross Miller, Newton. MA

HM Rockin’Reindeer by Melissa Standifird, Dallas Tx

SEMIFINALISTS

A Seat At The Table by Ross Miller, Newton. MA

Come Rain Come Shine by Martin Robley,  Ballajura Western Australia

Fireworks Don’t Last Very Long by Bill Kapac, West Wildwood, NJ

Let Yourself Fly by Ross Miller, Newton. MA

Restored(The Jimmy Song) by Patrick Shade

Rottin’ Reindeer by Melissa Standifird, Dallas Tx

Rockin’ Reindeer by Melissa Standifird, Dallas Tx

Till We All Drove It by TY Nelson, Billings, MT

COMMENTS

Winner:  Come Rain Come Shine I love the title of this song, and I can almost feel the rhythm of it as I read it, it is very naturally lyrical…  My main issue with this one is some of the lines in it, such as “Age looks forward to the past”.  I’m not sure I am clear about what that means, not sure I really agree with it.  I believe rewriting that line, or maybe, using the previous line to make it more understandable would help.  And while I love the meter and sense of time in the Chorus, I feel that it could be a little clearer, for one thing I would reverse the placement of the lines “Forever and a day” and “Till the end of time”.  And I think possibly rethinking a few words or a whole phrase in the chorus would make it clearer.  Still, in my view this is a wonderful song with a strong sense of meter and a wistful look at the passage of a lifetime.  

Come Rain Come Shine by Martin Robley,  Ballajura Western Australia

When you’re young a day can last forever 

When you’re old years fly by so fast 

Youth can’t wait … until tomorrow 

Age looks forward to the past 

Chorus: Come what may 

Come rain, come shine 

Forever and a day 

Till the end of time 

Come what may 

Come rain, come shine 

All too soon the days become more precious 

Life’s a path you don’t walk again 

Childhood days so sweet and fleeting

Lost like teardrops in the rain 

Chorus: Come what may 

Come rain, come shine 

Forever and a day 

Till the end of time 

Come what may 

Come rain, come shine 

I believed with age I’d gain some wisdom 

An insight missing in my youth I

‘m older now …but not much wiser 

I’m still searching for my truth 

Chorus: Come what may 

Come rain, come shine 

Forever and a day 

Till the end of time 

Come what may Come rain, come shine 

Bridge: Now I’ve looked at life from the womb to the tomb 

From the cradle to the grave and beyond 

And all I‘ve come to understand Is time passes … and life goes on 

Chorus: Come what may 

Come rain, come shine 

Forever and a day 

Till the end of time 

Come what may 

Come rain, come shine 

2nd Place:  Till We All Drove It-I like this story song because it does a good job of telling the story with really short verse lines.  I also liked the little twist at the end where the wife(Mama) tells the kids she kept the truck her husband loved till each of the kids could all drive it.  A nice job telling the story, and I like how it doesn’t really all come out at once — you have to listen to the whole song to get the whole story.  I see a few places where it appears that the rhyme scheme does not work(able -greater), but hey,  it might work in the song itself, with music.  I also think that the title of the song could be worked into the chorus so that it is repeated more often, it might make the title stick in the listeners mind better.   Nice work.

TILL WE ALL DROVE IT  by TY Nelson, Billings, MT

When my old man was just nineteen,

He filled his truck with gasoline,

He packed his boots and a green canteen,

And wrapped his dog tags in between.

 

He drove his truck straight back to Georgia,

Where mama said “I’ll be waitin for ya,”

Hopped out his truck, said “Dang you’re gorgeous,

I missed this town and these front porches.”

 

For the last 10 weeks he’d been away,

Shipped off to train the Marine Corps way,

To become a soldier it’s the price you pay,

To keep our homeland safe each day.

 

But when he finished he drove back to Georgia,

Where mama said “I’ll be waitin for ya,”

Hopped out his truck, said “Dang you’re gorgeous,

I missed this land and our five horses.”

 

It wasn’t long before they called again,

To ship him to Afghanistan.

But mama, she was havin twins,

He wouldn’t get to see them born right then.

 

Cause he drove his truck straight outta Georgia,

To board a plane on the coast of Florida,

Flew to a land that was far from gorgeous,

Missed his wife and their five horses.

 

And when they sent him overseas,

My mama got down on her knees,

She prayed to the Lord with all her might,

To bring my daddy back safe at night.

 

He never gave up, he never stopped fightin,

Couldn’t hear her voice, but he never stopped writin,

Cause he missed his home and he missed his wife,

And remembered the best time in his life:

 

When he drove his truck back down to Georgia,

Where mama said “I’ll be waitin for ya,”

Hopped out his truck, said “Dang you’re gorgeous,

I love this town and these front porches.”

 

But then one day the ambush came,

He lost his life but not in vain.

We won that war but he lost that fight,

My daddy died a hero that night.

 

           Mama drives his truck back in Georgia,

           Cause she’s still here waitin for him,

           To tell his daughter she’s so gorgeous,

           And teach his son to raise the horses.

 

           She still sets his place at the table,

           I can feel the presence of his angel,

           Meet my dad, I was never able

           But I know there was no one greater.

 

           So I drive his truck back in Georgia,

           Where mama says “I’ll be here for ya,”

           My sister, dang she grew up gorgeous,

           I plow this land and ride these horses.

 

           He’d be proud, I just know it.

           I smile wide cause I can barely hold it.

           Mama she ain’t never sold it,

           Kept that truck till we all drove it.

3rd Place:  Fireworks Don’t Last Very LongThis one reminded me of that old song from the ’70s, “Afternoon Delight”, but I don’t think that song had some of the double entendre of “Fireworks Don’t Last Very Long”.  Life is long, passion is short if it doesn’t have a deeper love behind it.  I had some questions about some of the lines in the chorus, such as “Pesty Little Pilots” sang their song, who are they? That part isn’t clear, but the roll in the hay is.  I liked how the passion in Verse one is matched with a different kind of passion(passion for the show) in Verse two.   

“ FIREWORKS  DON’T  LAST  VERY  LONG “ by Bill Kapac, West Wildwood, NJ

    V-1  KICK OFF THEM RIDING  BOOTS PUSH THAT STETSON OFF YOUR HAIR

            YOU WON’T NEED SHOES YOU’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE

            NOBODY ‘S LOOKING IN THIS STABLE THEY WON’T MISS YOU FOR A WHILE

            WE’RE GONNA FINISH RIGHT NOW WHAT STARTED WITH A SMILE

CHORUS:   FIREFLIES BUZZED IN HARMONY RIGHT OVER OUR HEAD

                    AS WE ROLLED AROUND IN SILENCE ON OUR DIRT AND HAY BED                        

                    PASSION FLUSHED OUR FACES, PESTY LITTLE PILOTS SANG THEIR SONG

                    SOON BACK UP ON OUR HORSES, FIREWORKS DON’T LAST VERY LONG

V-2  THIS WAS A GREAT 4TH OF JULY SHOW THE CROWD JUMPED UP AND DOWN   

         YOUR HORSE DROVE THEM WILD SPINING ROUND AND ROUND

          YOU WORKED YOUR FANS SO SMOOTHLY KEPT THEM ON THEIR FEET

           DANCING WITH YOUR MAGIC HORSE YOU NEVER MISSED A BEAT                 

                   

CHORUS:   FIREFLIES BUZZED IN HARMONY RIGHT OVER OUR HEAD

                     AS WE ROLLED AROUND IN SILENCE ON OUR DIRT AND HAY BED 

                     PASSION FLUSHED OUR FACES PESTY LITTLE PILOTS SANG THEIR SONG

                     SOON BACK UP ON OUR HORSES, FIREWORKS DON’T LAST VERY LONG  

     V-3  I’M JUST ANOTHER COWBOY YOU’RE THE STAR OF THIS SHOW

             NOBODY CAME TO SEE ME I’M A SMALL PART OF THIS RODEO

             CELBRATION ENDED WITH A BANG THE CROWD WAS HEADED HOME

            THE SKY FADED FROM RED TO GRAY EXCITEMENT WAS ALL GONE

     BRIDGE:  GOODBYES ARE SWEET SORROW, BUT YOU NEVER SAID A WORD

                         CROWD CHEERING FOR YOU AS I WAS LEAVING

                        WAS THE ONLY SOUND I HEARD                           

CHORUS:   FIREFLIES BUZZED IN HARMONY RIGHT OVER OUR HEAD

                     AS WE ROLLED AROUND IN SILENCE ON OUR DIRT AND HAY BED 

                     PASSION FLUSHED OUR FACES PESTY LITTLE PILOTS SANG THEIR SONG

                     SOON BACK UP ON OUR HORSES, FIREWORKS DON’T LAST VERY

4th Place or Honorable Mention:  Rotten Reindeer Not since “Grandma got run over by a Reindeer” have Donner, Blitzen, Prancer, uh, Rudolph, and… the rest of the Reindeer gotten quite as bad a rap as they do here!  Still, I love the image of these bad Reindeer ruining the singer’s Christmas.  But I kept asking myself what EXACTLY did the Reindeer DO to ruin the singer’s Christmas?  This song brought a smile to my face, a little more details about the foibles of the singer that made him so angry at the Reindeer might make it a classic C&W(and Christmas) song.  I love the iine about “There’s video on you-tube if you need some proof”

Rotton Reindeer by Melissa Standifird, Dallas Tx

Rotten reindeer ruined my Christmas by stealing Santa’s sleigh,

He thought that they had settled down, but they just flew away.

I can’t believe they left him standing on my neighbor’s roof,

There’s a video on you-tube if you need some proof.

Rotten reindeer, rotten reindeer, rotten reindeer they just flew away.

Rotten reindeer, rotten reindeer, soon it will be Christmas day.

Now reindeer are big and strong and pull a heavy sleigh

To travel around the world with gifts for Christmas Day

I don’t think the reindeer really meant to do me harm

They couldn’t wait to get back home to their cozy barn

Rotten reindeer, rotten reindeer, rotten reindeer they just flew away.

Rotten reindeer, rotten reindeer, soon it will be Christmas day.

Rotten reindeer trashed my Christmas, that’s just not ok

They flew off with the toys; no Kris Kringle in the sleigh 

If they fly home without Nick; Mrs. Claus knows what to do

She and the elves will have themselves a reindeer barbecue.

Rotten reindeer ruined my Christmas, I tell you its no lie,

There was nothing I could do, but wave as they flew by.

After this we don’t trust reindeer anymore

And from now on we’ll send our gifts fed-ex door to door

Rotten reindeer, rotten reindeer, rotten reindeer they just flew away.

Rotten reindeer, rotten reindeer, Santa Claus is gonna make you pay

Rotten reindeer, rotten reindeer, rotten reindeer they just flew away.

Rotten reindeer, rotten reindeer, soon it will be Christmas day.

Soon it will be Christmas day.

Soon it will be Christmas day.

5th Place: A Seat At The Table by Ross Miller, Newton. MA Good one, sort of a protest song about sharing power.  I think it would be more powerful if some lines were changed to make it more specific to a particular situation.  Is this a song about a relationship, say a married couple where one is shut our?  Or is this politics, and the few are shutting the many out of the process? Still, the simplicity of the chorus makes it memorable, and it could be a powerful anthem that way.  I like this lyric, and would love to hear the song that goes with it. 

6th Place:   Rockin’ Reindeer by Melissa Standifird, Dallas Tx   I liked this one, even if it does remind me a bit of “Jingle Bell Rock”. It sounds like it would make a delightful song for children, although I wonder what Reindeer do to raise hell?

I also liked “Restored(The Jimmy Song)” by Patrick Shade and “Let Yourself Fly” by Ross Miller, Newton. MA